THE HISTORY OF "METRIE'S RUN"

WHO IS METRIE?

Metrie was born January 12, 1979 as Dometria Monique Baca (she would marry in 2003 and become Dometria Monique Carbajal) with red hair, brown eyes and the most lucious lips ever imaginable.  Her lips would always be her trade mark.

Metrie is also my sister. 

Metrie was murdered on June 6, 2004 by someone we loved and trusted... as much as she did.  Her husband, my brother-in-law, am I bitter or angry?  Not anymore. 

My sister, for being 26 years old was very old fashioned.  When she said "I do," she took the vow of, "Until death do us part." literally.  She loved her husband until her death.  Even in her most desperate and frightened moments she was loyal and committed.  Even when she could not understand why this was happening to her, she never faltered.

Looking back, we had no idea or concept of the trauma she was facing alone and in silence.  Something that each of us knows about (admitedly or not), we know of someone personally who has suffered or know of someone who keeps a secret called DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

My sister was a victim of Domestic Violence.  Did we ever imagine or expect that this beautiful, intelligent, hard working, inspirational young lady would die young and alone?  Absolutely not.  Unfortunately, we did not know the signs, we did not know how to read between the lines and nor were we able to read the torment in her eyes and in her face.  That is part of the secret, you hide it so far in the depths of your soul you are able to pretend it does not exist.  You are vague in responses that know one will ever suspect your suffering and always pretend to be happy. 

Looking back, my sister was all of these, looking back it kills me to know I knew nothing about my sister's pain. 

Through my sister's death, a custody battle, a murder trial and the ultimate road of healing from within and being able to forgive myself I no longer agonize for what could have been or what we or I could have done.  I now move forward day by day for my nephew (Michael Carbajal - DCAC Ride for Kids) and my own children. 

My sister was young but left this world dieing for what she belived in... trust, commitment and love.  Her choice may not have been the right one by societies standards.  Who are we to judge?  None the less she is my sister and she was much braver than I. 

I can sympathize with women in her same position.  Society often looks down on women who stay in abusive relationships. 

Why don't she just leave?  In many cases they can't.  In many cases they are stalked into submission.  In many cases the abuser is the sole provider for the family and in many cases the children are threatened.  These were cases and scenarios my sister was part of.
There are shelters.  Yes there are shelters, but did you know if the shelter is funded by the Government the shelter is required to provide names and address of the women staying in these safe havens?  How are these women suppose to feel safe when their own government who has passed laws to prosecute those who break the Domestic Violence Law are setting them up to be found.
I WOULDN'T TAKE IT!  Have you been abused?  If so, where are you now?  Still being abused or finally found the courage to save your life and attempt to move forward.  This saying is much easier said than done.

My sister attempted to move forward she was then stalked and ultimatley killed.  My sister found her courage, she finally confided in a select few of her secret.  I think it was to ensure the outcome would be the right one.

What I have learned is this... women suffering from Domestic Violence, suffer in silence and keep their secret locked inside.  If it is a secret that is not spoken of or repeated it is easier to accept the reality and still be able to live as if Domestic Violence does not affect them.  Secrets are a powerful thing, however; in 2005 I had the opportunity to speak in front of a crowd of approximately 800 people and tell our story and divuldge my sister's secret.  It was amazing, the amount of woman that came forward and thanked me for giving them permission to speak of their personal battles and struggles was very humbling.  I was praised for my strength and awareness for the cause.  I have spoken at several events, private parties and have even been named the Ambassador of Hope for the Denver Children's Advocacy Center... all from a very heart wrenching tragedy that just about took my sanity.

Have I healed?  More than anyone thought was possible.  I have forgiven my brother-in-law... I love him, he is family.  He is the father of my nephew and my nephew will need all the support he can get for his future, his future of very hard decisions he will forced face.  My sister would not have allowed the hate and anger to fester if she were alive, who would I be to harbor animosity now that she is gone.  That is not who my sister was or would have been.  I thank GOD for showing me what the true meaning of FORGIVNESS is...  I have forgiven, we as a family have forgiven.  As a matter of fact new friendships have been formed between my family and his.  I am thankful for that, now Michael no longer has to feel forced to choose between families.  WE ALL LOVE HIM, just as we ALL LOVED METRIE.

We named the Annual Run after my sister "METRIE;" we commemorate her death in JUNE, the month she died...  However, it has evolved to much more than my sister.  There are millions of women who suffer daily in their silence and in their secret... 

THIS RIDE WAS TO ALSO COMMEMORATE THOSE STILL LIVING THROUGH THEIR OWN PERSONAL HELL AND FEAR.  WE ARE HOPING TO HELP THEM GROW STRONG ENOUGH TO SEE THAT THEY ARE NOT ALONE.  They have a family, a mother, a father maybe even a sister that would hurt right along side them if their secret was only spoken.

All money raised for Metrie's Run is donated to the
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
In the 3 years we have sponsored this ride we have raised
close to $3,000.